+ Defining the Mind Wreck

"Mind wreck" is one of those phrases that keep haunting me for no apparent reason. Maybe it's because it's one of those adjectivial phrases that may be apt for my not-so-normal personality? I'm not sure of that. I have a foggy perception of myself. Why don't you be the judge?

I am an introvert exophile. I love meeting new people, but I am content with just listening and watching them. Most of the time, I do not take the initiative to talk or strike a conversation. If you don't talk to me, I won't talk to you. Tell me your stories, and I'll tell you mine.

I have a great fascination for science. And cooking. And aesthetics. And the occult and paranormal. And checking out the newest lady barrista at the various Starbucks outlets I frequent.

I maintain friends at an equilibrium state. For me, meeting new people is different from making friends. Friends that I make, I try to keep them permanently. I believe that I can only have so many friends and there exists a limiting equilibrium for it. Keeping friends means keeping everything in sync: their lifestyles, actions, secrets. A friend lost is hard for me emotionally, but nature intervenes and I am fortunate to gain another.

Playing video games is my only permanent hobby. I've lived and experienced the life of a 5 year old boy starting on the ATARI system, progressing to the Family Computer, Nintendo ES, Sega Megadrive, Playstation, N64, Sega Dreamcast and currently the Playstation2. A colleague of mine owns an XBOX. I plan to get a Playstation3 as soon as it's out. I am awed by the alternate worlds that the consoles offer me.

Video games satisfy only my introvert half. The exophile in me craves for meeting people. And so I have a list of transient hobbies that allow me to interact with people: badminton, airsoft, wall-climbing, and camping/nature-trips.

I don't know what else to post.

Maybe I need to reflect on being a mind wreck some more.

I am frequently unsure of what I want. I have desires and ambitions, but at the same time I am content with where I am now. Part of me wants to explore new planes but I do not wish to leave behind the people and things that I currently enjoy and love.

Mind wreck, mind wreck, mind wreck.

I'm just waiting for my next inspiration.

Happy New Year!