Funny Story

This is the first funny story that I've heard this 2009.

"Ahhhh... We're at Paris, dude!"

First time namin ni Butch pareho sa Paris. So excited kami sobra to get up to the Eiffel Tower. Kahit sobrang lamig, takbo kami paakyat sa tuktok! Sira kasi yung elevator... peste talaga yang mga Pranses!

Finally, when we reached the top, we were surprised pare! Tired as we were, we got shocked and awed at the same time!

Number 1: There were many people on top. Check.
Number 2: All the people at the top of the Eiffel Tower were COUPLES!
Number 3: Nobody was using the telescopes, and nobody was taking in the magnificent view of Paris from the top of the Eiffel Tower!.

Biruin mo yun, couples left-and-right were cuddling, kissing and some were even groping each other! Geeeessh...

After being stunned and realizing what the other couples were doing there, slowly nagkatinginan kami ni Butch and nag-meet yung mata namin....

"F*ck you, pare! Don't even think about it!!", we blurted out simultaneously with our fingers pointing at each other.


There's supposed to be a lesson behind this story, but all of us at the dining table were laughing so hard by then.

- as narrated by Cris Taga, aka "Johnny Bravo" in our group, over a small reunion dinner at the Aganda household. Cris is still currently a bachelor (although we seriously think that his happy days are about to end soon. *kindat*)

RIOT, Squeaky Clean

1. RIOT

Arrgs... The frisbee league is starting on Sunday. I'm excited about it, but at the same time a bit anxious. Our team is moving up in the pool bracket, and we're going against the more elite players in the disc community. Our team has merged with another team and decided to brand ourselves Team RIOT for this tournament.

We played pick-up games with three other teams at the Sunken Garden last weekend. Ang daming tao! Seems like the whole frisbee community is preparing hard for the first league of the year.

Blue, the captain of the other team that merged with us, taught us a complex drill --- a "2-man go-to" drill. It was fast-paced, required some nimble footwork and more importantly, precise passing.

But, it wasn't my best day for frisbee. I twisted my ankle. I fumbled the disc four times in a row (which my teammates noticed).

But at least my passing was decent.

After the games and drills, we went to Shakey's for dinner and Cantina for drinks, and had ourselves a RIOT kind of time!

2. Shower shower shower... shower

I technically had to take four baths yesterday. Hahahaha!

I practically spent most of my free time soaking myself under the sun. The chilly and cloudy weather for the last few weeks at Batangas made me appreciate it.

Ten Circles of Hell

I was cooking some chili late last night when I decided to pop-in a DVD on my player and watch a Hongkong horror movie. I bought the movie many months ago but hadn’t had the time or interest to watch it until last night. It was Neraka 19.

Neraka is Hindu for hell.

The movie has its selling points – an interesting storyline, good acting, and some pretty nice girls. The only disappointment for me was it wasn’t a hair-raising, voice-muting horror movie. Japanese horror movies are much better.

Anyway, what fascinated me about the movie is that apparently there is a Chinese belief that there are 18 gates of hell, and that there are cultists who believe on the existence of a 19th gate. Hence the movie title Neraka 19.

Yeah, I know. I have a slight interest in this religious-occult genre.

I tried to do some research on these 18 gates of hell, but I couldn’t get a good match so far. But based on what has been presented in the movie, there is only one good parallelism between the Oriental belief of the 18 gates of hell against the 9 Circles of Hell presented by Dante in his Divine Comedy.

Both concepts of hell distinguished between an Upper Hell and a Lower Hell.

In Dante’s hell, as one goes lower and lower into the further circles, the space becomes smaller and smaller. Like a funnel. In the Chinese concept of gates of hell, the “hell” beyond each gate is limitless. Dante’s concept was based on the gravity of the sin at each circle – the higher the gravity of one’s sins, the deeper he goes into the circles of hell, and the more severe the retribution is. The soul carries out the punishment at his ultimate circle only.

In the movie, the Chinese gates of hell have to be passed successively for all souls. The belief was that beyond each gate of hell, one needs to survive the retribution waiting for him. The punishment is equivalent to the sin (well, as far as the movie and artistic concept implied) --- for example, the first gate of hell is “The Torture of Tongue-Cutting”. Those who have used words to offend others will find themselves cutting off their tongues themselves if they are guilty of this sin. Those who are innocent of this sin are guided on to the next gate.

Because of this, Dante’s concept of hell is eternal damnation. There is no redemption. In the movie, it was portrayed that there is a chance of redemption. If your conscience remains clear at each gate, you pass the test of the gate. When one clears the 18th gate, his soul is redeemed.

Now what happens beyond the 18th gate? Is there really a 19th gate? Based on the movie, there’s none.

The parallel question to that is what if there was a circle of hell? What punishment will be there? In Dante’s 9th circle, Lucifer is there, conscious but unable to move, frozen in ice along with the souls of the sinners “worthy” of accompanying him.

I think, just to toy with the idea, someone more evil than the devil himself would be found at the 10th circle.

This brings to mind a local joke here at our office which names a few personalities more evil than Satan. Hehehe.

Ultimate Weekend - 2009

* groan *

My battle scars last weekend:

A stiff left forearm,
Really tired hamstrings,
Sore calf muscles,
Tense shoulders,
And a hurting shin at my left leg.

The 2009 season for ultimate frisbee has started! Wahoo!

--------------

The team came over to our place in Batangas last weekend for some practice games and a party afterwards (Jungle-themed). I really can’t figure out which thing is our team better at: playing or partying, hahaha.

We played a couple of games at a field here in Batangas --- really great field for diving, lay-outs and rolls. I think the whole team was really excited in the weekend’s practice game. Everybody was running faster, passing better and making some awesome catches. The enthusiasm level was so great that it didn’t stop anyone from playing despite some minor injuries incurred by some players during the game.

My highlight: intentionally blocking off JP’s running lane during their side’s 1-2 play. Unfortunately, JP didn’t see me when I positioned for the block so he rammed into me (and his cleats dug into my shin). Sent me flying on my back, and the momentum was so great that there was enough for me to execute a back-roll and get back on my feet. The adrenaline rush was good, and for the rest of the game it dulled the ache on my left shin and ankle.

No pain, no gain.

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I was surprised to find out that Orange, Vern and Erick can sing superbly well on Rockband. Astig! I found myself a new set of jammers!

HO HO HOS!

(this blog post gets appended for the various holiday 'moments' that i'll find myself in. Season's greetings!)

3. The Godfather

Quito hosted lunch last Tuesday and brought his mom and my godson Maqui along. I got to the restaurant earlier, hence I was already seated comfortably when they walked in.

Maqui comes running to me.

"Ninong Stiff!!"
I stand up and extend my hand. "Oy Mak... Merry Christmas! Bless?"
Maqui takes my hand to do the mano gesture.

"Ninong Stiff, exchange gift tayo!"
"Huh? You have gift for me?" Maqui's five years old.
"Yes, I have a gift for you! Di ba Papa Quito?"
"Yeah man. Maqui's been excited the whole morning... he's been counting the days when we'll get to meet para makapag-exchange gift daw siya sa 'yo."

Mrs. S leans towards me for a kiss on the cheek. "Oh yes, Stiff. Maqui's been busy the last two days for your gift. I think ikaw lang yung ninong who's getting a gift from him."

....
...
..


2. Delivering Chrismas Presents

I did my milk-run of Christmas gift deliveries for my parents earlier this week. Had to go through Alabang Hills, PhilAm Las Pinas, Villamor Air Base, Palanan in Makati and then head north to Valle Verda V and Wilson in Greenhills. Mom made her traditional rellenong manok and leche flan, complete with storage and serving instructions, as her gifts to family friends.

At every stop, I had to get off my car and walk up to their respective gates. In almost all of the houses that I stopped, I got invited in by my parents' friends for snacks or coffee at their gardens or salas or kitchens.

My parents' friends meet up more frequently than I do with my college friends, so there's none of the usual "how's your mom/dad?" interview. Instead, I got interviewed! Some of them haven't seen me for 4 years. They would give me their own snippets of what it is that they best remember me for. I liked Tita Jing's story best -- of how she and my mom connived to set me up with her daughter when I was about to graduate from college (hahaha!).

I'm so glad to do this errand for my parents. Got to re-connect with some family acquaintances. One of my dad's friends even gave me a 500-peso pamasko (he insisted!).

1. HO-HO-HO BQ 25 Christmas Dinner HO-HO-HO
It’s been a while since I’ve hosted a big dinner. All my past dinners were limited to at most 10 people. Having more than 10 people is a bit difficult hosting-wise --- the food, the utensils, table settings, etc.

Now, Christmas is just around the corner, but I haven’t heard of any parties for the bachelors’ group at our workplace. Planning for that is a major time-drain and will require significant time and resources to prepare for it.

So, I compromised a bit.

I hosted Christmas dinner for my housemates and some choice friends, even though if it meant planning it for more than 10 people. There’s the food to prepare, setting up the tree and holiday decors, sending out invitations and of course… the gifts!

I didn’t need to prepare any games.
Nor did I have a difficult time managing everyone that I invited (that’s one of the challenges of being a host --- making sure everyone’s comfortable).
And I did manage to enjoy the party myself despite being the host.

Almost everything about the Christmas dinner turned out well (one invitee decided not to go though) --- lots of food, hearty conversations, wine (*no beer!*) and plenty of laughter. One of my friends commented that he found the party relaxing and reminiscent of how their generation used to have bachelors’ nights.

Ho ho ho ho!

The Circle of Life's Successes

“At age 1, success means being able to stand up by yourself.
At age 6, it’s being able to use the toilet on your own.
At age 7, success is being able to ride a bike.
At age 17, it’s getting your driver’s license and driving your own car.
At age 20, success is having been able to make love, or get laid.
At age 25, it’s landing your first job and being financially independent.
At age 35, success is having a loving family and looking after their well-beings.

At age 60, success is still having a loving family with everyone’s well-being in a good state.
At age 65, success is leaving your last job financially independent and secure.
At age 70, success is still being able to make love and/or still be able to get laid.
At age 75, success is still being able to drive a car and ride a bike on your own.
At age 80, success is still being able to use the toilet on your own.
At age 90, success is being able to stand up by yourself.”

- shared by Boss Andrew this afternoon at our office over chocolates and coffee, right after we commented that his hair is noticeably more gray ever since he got assigned as our facility’s Operations Manager.

Economics

... is defined as the study of how resources, profits and losses are allocated to maximize happiness.

I just completed a regional course on Refinery and Supply Economics; its arguably the best learning course I've gotten so far in my corporate stint.

My favorites:

1) Application of John Nash's "Game Theory" (global optimum is achieved when everyone thinks in their best interests AND the interests of others), and seeing how the default behavior of most economic deals are a result of Adam Smith's "Invisible Hand" theory ("the best solution is achieved when everyone thinks in their best interests, and an 'invisible hand' takes over to guide them to the optimum solution). John Nash was right, Adam Smith was wrong.

2) Investment economics is loosely based on the story of the bear chasing two men. Don't worry about the bear; worry about being better and faster than the other guy.

3) Risk management is about the rabbit in the middle of the road. If the rabbit stayed in the middle of the road, there's no risk management. If the rabbit chooses whether to stay on the left lane or the right lane of the road because it thinks it won't get roadkilled there, that's risk management.

4) Oil futures and Trading Economics is nothing but a paper market of guarantees. Only smart people can make money using Trading Economics, but engineers can't make sense of how is it possible to make profit out of guarantees. Therefore, engineers aren't smart enough to take Trading as an occupation.

5) Accountants will give you a numerical answer for a "How much is...." question. An economist must give you a counter-question of "Why do you want to know?". The accountant's answer is absolute, the economist's answer is always relative.

It's been great to be in a classroom again.

Ramblings in a Hotel Room with the newest Stephen King book before me

is nike the god of speed? can't really remember.
climb sweet
dream rock
smash quick
dive frisbee.
work.
play.
party.
talk.
swoosh.
fight.
sing.
think.
peace.

id.
in a few days, all these words will mean something. and hopefully more.
thanks.

-------------

I got to meet up with my cousin Pao in Singapore this morning. He was all beaming happy when he got to see me. He's been homesick pretty bad ever since he started working as an OFW two months ago.

Both of us are mama's boys -- we spent an hour talking about our respective moms' dealings-with-life. Then the talk shifted quickly to the fun we had with our batch (we were classmates from 1st grade until senior year). We reminisced the many times he acted as a big bro for me in the classroom or in outings -- always keeping me in check and in line (believe it or not, I am the more "evil" cousin between us two). Too bad Elips or Maloy weren't around because the winning story for the day was reminiscing the time when we got the two of them "introduced" to magic shrooms and its induced euphoria on a rainy summer night on the beach.

In a nutshell, both of us enjoyed the few hours of reunion and wished it were longer ("Pao, baka umiyak ka na naman mamaya... hahaha). There'll be a next time bro, don't worry.

And next time, we'll party. On me. It's my turn to be the big bro.

The Birth of STD Nights

16 pieces of good-sized crabs prepared in 3 ways and shared among 5 guys.

Welcome to the 1st S.T.D. night!

Last week, Jay sent out this photo of a crab dish he craved for to me, Emer, Glenn and Bai. It looked really really mouth-watering on the photo and soon all of us wanted some of it. Too bad that it's a plane flight away just to get that particular crab dish.

So we settled for the next best thing. We cooked our own! Hahaha...

I went to the SEASIDE seafood market last Sunday afternoon to pick out and purchase crabs. Got a really good bargain for it (~240 Php/kilo after some intense negotiation, medium sized, plump crabs).

Brought the crabs to Batangas, cleaned all of them that night, steamed them, chucked them in the ref and had 1 beer after.

Monday night: Glenn took care of the rice and drinks, Jay did the chopping of the spices to be used, I cooked the crabs and Bai and Emer brought their appetites (hehehe...). After a half-hour of chopping, frying and baking, we had:

* Oriental-Style Fried Crabs
* Baked Chili Crabs
* old-fashioned Steamed Crabs

Spreading all of the cooked crabs on the table was like looking at an oasis in the middle of the desert. We dug in! Sarap!

Until next month's STD night. Hehehe. And we'll have photos of the dishes next time.

Did you know that "crabs" is a term for a particular sexually-transmitted disease? Just in case you haven't figured out yet why last night was the 1st STD night.

Move It

I like to move it, move it...

1.
It felt like I was on Amazing Race again last Saturday. Left Batangas at 10 am, lunch with my cousins at Alabang, sped thru SLEX and C-5 to be at Ateneo by 3pm for my frisbee game, Ortigas at 6 pm, then finally Mall of Asia by 8 pm.

Whew…

2.
I skinned my knee area, right arm and chin on separate goal attempts during my weekend frisbee game with the team. The injuries are not that bad though as compared to Eric’s and Pretty Boy’s (who by the way has earned a new alias --- Iced Tea Boy) who both had longer cuts on their legs. The field was deceivingly dry, packed and hard.

I think I’ve slightly upgraded my passing and catching skills. Hey, I was able to throw an air-bounce during the game. I’m pretty sure that I didn’t intend it to be an air-bounce pass. And all of my backhand passes were good. As for catching, I’ve been able to execute a full sprint-jump-one-handed-catch combo many times over.

3.
Madagascar 2’s a good movie. I used my brother’s last batch of free IMAX tickets to treat the fishyfishy group (plus Emer) for the animation’s IMAX screening. King Julian and Maurice are still funny, but this time around the penguins with the Mafia attitude steal the show --- from launching off their Air Penguin plane to tricking safari tour groups in leaving their vehicles and finally negotiating with monkeys about maternity leaves.

After the movie, we had a couple of sub-zero-degree San Mig Light beers at the San Miguel by the Bay just across Mall of Asia. Having a supercooled beer on a cool evening… woot!

My Name is STIP and I Am Here To Rescue You

A.
Many years back, ALIAS was my favorite TV series. The spy-action plot involving the lead character Sidney working as a double-agent mesmerized me over four seasons.

My favorite episode is when the lead, despite all her martial arts and pistol skills, gets cornered by her enemies and gets imprisoned. The heroine becomes the damsel-in-distress. And so, somebody needed to rescue her.

Back at her agency, the one identified to have the necessary skills for the rescue mission turned out to be their gadget-specialist. They needed someone with the know-how of all the high-tech safeguards which Sidney’s captors are using in their hide-out. The extraction plan was simple: get past through all the security safeguards, blast a hole through Sidney’s cell and extract her. So, Gadget-Specialist Guy gets the job of rescuing her.

Anyway, what made it my favorite episode is because Gadget-Specialist guy (I can’t remember his name) doesn’t have any action scenes throughout the season. He’s usually on his desk, speaking through a headphone set. But in this particular episode, he’s part of the action.

And when he was finally able to blast through the cell of Sidney, he calls out to Sidney, “Hi, my name is XXXXX and I am here to rescue you!”.

That was cool.

-----------------

B.
Last week, I was “nominated” to attend a 5-day Advanced Rescue course conducted by the Philippine National Red Cross. It was a Rope Rescue / Rope Technician Level 1 course.

It’s easy to describe: I got to learn how to rescue someone using rappelling skills.

I’ve done rappelling before back in my Boy Scout / Eagle Scout / Nature Badge days. It’s easy for me to get down on a rope by myself using various rappelling styles, but this course is 100% different from what I’ve been exposed to.

This time around, I need to rescue someone which can be accessed only using ropes, and bring myself and the victim down to a safe place. With NO belayer. The rescuer will have to belay both himself and the victim simultaneously.

Hence, it’s definitely a physically-demanding activity. Not to mention the mental pressure of trying to assure myself that I can do this life-risking activity. Nature also added some sense of realism on the course by striking us with sunny overcast mornings then drenching us with afternoon downpours every day. Rain-or-shine....

A rundown of the things unique to rope-rescue (and be able to be certified for it):

1) Be able to neatly tie 15 different kinds of knots and combinations of them with bulky leather gloves on. And that you have 15 seconds to tie each of those knots neatly.

2) Laying out your own rope and anchoring them securely by yourself.

3) “On-rope….rappelling!!!”. And performing your own test-jumps.

4) “Locking-up” – the skill of securing yourself on your own line by maneuvering your rope to lock itself on your descender. Requires split-second timing and hand+body coordination. Allows you to free both of your hands for other uses, such as trying to rescue someone else. If done wrong, either two things can happen: either the rescuer falls to the ground OR you end up with an injured hand because it got caught in the rope. (Note: one guy in our class ended up with his thumbnail torn off despite the leather glove protection). This is the skill which I had the hardest time figuring out how to execute it.

5) Making rope hitches and emergency harnesses, and using them as your leverage control when doing ascending. Ascending skills will demand good upper, lower and core body strength on the rescuer, not to mention flexibility.

6) “Unlock” – the opposite of “locking up”. Has the same consequences as “Locking-up” if done incorrectly.

7) Buddy checks are a requirement --- have at least two other people check your straps, carabiner gates, rescue-8 rings and harnesses.

8) Accident recovery --- Recover to the rappeller’s neutral position in case he finds himself face flat on the wall or hanging upside down.

9) Transfer – You’re currently rappelling on rope A. However, you need to go to rope B which is alongside rope A. How do you disengage yourself from rope A and secure yourself in rope B at a height of 25 meters with no belayers?

10) Evolution. Combining items 1 through 9 in order to perform the last required skill for certification.

11) Victim Rescue --- Recover a victim from an area accessible only by ropes. Don a harness on the victim. Secure victim onto your rope. Bring victim down to safe area. Note: You’re doing all of these by yourself, so you should be capable of rappelling both yourself and the victim at the same time.

During my “graduation exam” wherein I had to perform 3 victim rescues, I psyched myself by calling out to the victim before allowing direct contact between us: “Hi, my name is Stip and I am here to rescue you.”

Hahaha… it sounded as cool as how I remember it when I was watching ALIAS.

Lastly, a photo of our class, now officially my workplace's elite pool of rope rescuers.

On Being Poor, My Parents and the Outdoors

1.
sigh...

It's already November. It's the start of my monthly amortization.
I'm officially POOR.

Have to subsist on my salary for the next six months. My passive income all goes towards what I would like to think of as a "good investment".

I'm back in the rat race.

2.
My parents decided to stay this weekend with me at Batangas so I wasn't able to go anywhere else. It was a great, quiet weekend for us.

My mom cooked all my favorite foods (paksiw na lechon, menudo, bulalo, pork steak, monggo with shrimp, beef tapa) for the last two days with me, of course, as her kitchen assistant. She even brought her charcoal stove so that the bulalo flavor would be at its best. Hahaha. By the way, last Friday night, Bai, Chewy and Jay talked my mom into "adopting" them for dinner (menudo, fried tilapia, ginisang pechay with shrimps).

After dinner, my dad would have his customary drink (I keep a bottle of Chivas on-stock always) and chat with me about current events (this time around, his favorite topic is the Obama presidency).

My parents also got me a gift. Hahahaha. It was a remote-controlled dragonfly! When was the last time your parents ever got you a toy? I spent a couple of hours this afternoon figuring out how to operate the dragonfly. =)


3.
Finally, I found a group who's interested in climbing Mt. Kinabalu! Wahoo! We're gonna do it next year! I'm excited about the whole trip. It'll be my first climb outside of the country, and what makes it better is that we're climbing the tallest mountain in the region. Whoop! It's a 6-day climb!

A couple of my colleagues are still "encouraging" me to take up diving. My problem is I can't fit those diving lessons into my schedule (specially with Christmas season fast approaching).

Hmmm... maybe next year na rin?